LETTERS FROM A SENIOR: Find healthy friendships, let others go



Our friend group has virtually been the same since middle school, and we thought it would always be that way. SIKE! We were wrong. Now, don’t automatically assume that all of your friends will switch up on you, but it is important to look for the signs and realize who your real friends are.

For example, flakiness happens. Sometimes, you just really don’t wanna go through with those plans… And that’s okay. However, if it happens EVERY time plans are made, that person is most likely manipulating your friendship and using you for their benefit. If you only want someone to hangout with when you’re really bored, good for you! But if you want a genuine friendship, don’t be afraid to say, “Um, excuse me, are we even friends anymore?”

Obviously people are going to have friends from all different walks of life, even ones you don’t like. And that’s okay. If you’re a real friend, you’ll understand that that’s fine, as long as it doesn’t interfere with your friendship. If your friend acts different when around their other friends, or they sneak diss you when you’re not there, CUT! THEM! OFF! You have absolutely no time for this fake behavior and your life will be less stressful for it.

Growing apart from childhood friends is also bound to happen. It may be saddening and make you feel like your whole life is changing. It is. Just because you’ve grown apart doesn’t mean that you can’t still catch up and relish old memories, it might just mean that no new memories are to be made. Their era is done, and their walk of life no longer is by yours. Growing apart is natural and leaves room for new people to come into your life.

Now you may be thinking “OMG, that’s my only friend, I’m gonna be so lonely, meh…” You’re right… but it’s going to be okay. Being alone is necessary, and if you’re focusing on yourself and your well being good people will come to you naturally. You may even be able to band together with others in your position.

Self reflection is necessary, and recognizing toxic behaviors in not only your friends, but in yourself, too, is key. Hating that person for doing you dirty is alright, but it’s also necessary to get over it and move on. Don’t dwell on hatred for too long. Appreciate the experiences that you had with that person and don’t think of those times any differently, but recognize that they might not be that person anymore and you have to let it go.

Basically, don’t worry. You’ll make new friends, you’ll lose the fake ones over time and you’ll be a better person for it. Focus on your own needs and people that align with them will come to you.